Posts Tagged ‘hospice
The Man in Overalls
The volunteer called and said she would not be able to make her regular shift at the reception desk. As the Volunteer Coordinator, it fell to me to sit at the desk that afternoon. It happened to be a very busy day. Four patients were admitted in just two hours. I was frantically trying to keep up when a man clad in bib overalls came in the front door. He looked around slowly and approached the desk. He told me his wife was coming to the Hospice from M.D. Anderson Cancer Center that afternoon. He wanted to know what room she would be in. I gave him the information, offered him a cup of coffee and invited him to make himself comfortable while he waited for the ambulance to bring his wife.
After he got his coffee, I expected him to go into the family room or go to his wife’s room to wait. Instead, he just stood there, looking at me with woefully sad eyes. The silence was heavy. I didn’t really know what to say; lots of things were racing through my mind. I was searching for something brilliant, meaningful, perhaps even profound, to say to make him feel better. I was coming up with nothing when I remembered volunteer training. Maybe this was one of those times when silence was the best choice.
So, I stopped what I was doing, looked at him and smiled, just a little. With a heavy sigh, he put his callused hands up on the ledge and began to talk, very slowly. He talked of his wife’s cancer, of her pain and of his pain, as a result of hers. He talked about his daughter and how she helped so much. He talked about his wife wanting to stay with her sister if she stabilized enough to leave here. He said he really didn’t like staying anywhere except home but right now his wishes didn’t matter much. He said all he wanted was for her not to hurt, be as happy as she could be and make the most of the time she had left. He was willing to do whatever it took, even sleep in a strange bed, if that is what she wanted.
He looked off in the distance, shook his head and told me about the many people he and his wife had helped over the years. These same people were nowhere to be found now that they could use some friendly support. His eyes became teary as he shared how the parking lot attendant at M.D. Anderson had only charged him for one day’s parking after he lost his ticket and told her he had been there for at least three days.
He marveled at how a complete stranger could be so kind when lifelong friends didn’t even call. His voice cracked as he wondered out loud why these people couldn’t just say it was too hard to visit and see his wife so sick. Instead, they said nothing and their silence really hurt. He hung his head, wiped a tear from his cheek and asked where he could smoke. After I told him, he turned slowly and left, without another word.
I sat there quietly thinking about what had just occurred. I felt so privileged to have been allowed to listen as this gentle man poured out his hurts, to me, a stranger. I don’t know why he chose me, except maybe he took the silence that I wrestled with as an invitation to say what had probably been on his mind and in his heart for a very long time. I hope he felt better after he talked. I know listening to him was a gift for me. I learned valuable lessons from that man in bib overalls. I learned never to put off calling a hurting friend, even if I don’t know what to say. I know and I care says it all.
By the way, I also learned not to judge men in bib overalls!
-Patsy Piner, Houston Hospice Volunteer Coordinator
Experiencing The Other Side Of Hospice Care: A Hospice Nurse And Her NFL Husband
I graduated from nursing school relatively late in life, at age 42, with the intention of working for Houston Hospice. My father had been on service in 2010 and, like so many with whom I work; I was inspired by this painful, albeit beautiful experience, and felt called to be a hospice nurse. I volunteered for Houston Hospice prior to graduation, hoping to become familiar with hospice services. After working a year on med surge at our local hospital, I was able to get on the Houston Hospice El Campo Team as an Admissions Nurse.
At this point, I must disclose that three months after graduating from nursing school, in September 2012, my dear husband and best friend, Bryan, was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
Bryan is phenomenal — a professional football player in the NFL, rancher and surfer; this man embodies strength. The morning before his diagnosis at the ER, he mowed the yard with a collapsed lung! Bryan fought through chemo for six months and when told that his cancer was unresponsive to treatment, he continued fighting on his own terms; holistically and spiritually. When I was hired by Lisa Machen, RN, PCM in July of 2013, she was well aware of Bryan’s condition, however she knew that my heart was in hospice and she believed, rightly so, that when his disease progression began causing issues, she and the El Campo Team would be here for Bryan and me both. In December of 2013, Bryan’s cancer was progressing to the point that hospice care was needed and both Dr. Barker and Lisa Machen came to our home to assess and admit him onto service.
It is difficult to describe the blurred lines that can occur in these kinds of situations. Bryan’s Case Manager, Jackie Hooper, RN, is my friend, my mentor, my co-worker, and….my husband’s hospice nurse. Bryan is her patient but he is my life. I am able to be a calm patient advocate for all of our patients — but not for my husband. The phone calls, the hugs, the voice of reason given by Jackie through this process thus far are beyond words. In addition to feeling like I’ve been emotional for our team, Bryan is what we would all describe as a “difficult patient”! He may sleep 18 hours a day and then get up and decide to chop down a tree… or disappear to go fishing for hours without his phone. Trying to keep him safe and manage his symptoms, while encouraging his autonomy has been an arduous effort. Jackie has been wonderful at developing a rapport with him, educating Bryan and supporting his efforts to ‘be a man’ to his fullest. As a case manager, Jackie is a wonderful example of patient advocacy. She is proactive and yet equanimous at her core.
And then there is me, with a husband who’s a patient on hospice, still learning and finding my footing in my chosen field. Jackie, Lisa, and the rest of our team, have exemplified patience and support for me. Sharing hugs, a kind ear, and special notes and cards, they have managed to help me feel grounded and protected throughout this painful process. Pat Matthes, not a nurse but a wonderful social worker, has been such a pillar of support and reassurance. Victoria and Karen in our office, have been blessings as well, always available to share a hug or laugh with me. And then there’s Dr. Barker, what a true angel.
Knowing the ‘end result’ of Bryan’s illness does not lessen the journey that we are on. I truly cannot fathom walking this road without the Houston Hospice El Campo Team. The gratitude and love I feel for Jackie and Lisa, and the whole team is humbling and inspiring. These nurses are walking beside me, pulling ahead, and pushing behind when needed. I am inspired by them professionally and personally, and I am so very grateful.
Krista Caldwell, RN, Admission Nurse Houston Hospice El Campo
Krista and Bryan
Houston Hospice Nurses: Every Word, Every Action A Gift
I was surprised that within my first two months of working at Houston Hospice, a childhood friend contacted me to say that her grandmother was being admitted to our inpatient unit. She was 96 and very much beloved from a long life. After emergency brain surgery to remove a blood clot, she continued to have tiny, persistent strokes. Days of monitoring, setbacks, bad news, and countless decisions left the family’s nerves frayed. Then, they made the difficult decision to stop trying to save their loved one.
“Mimi” was admitted after business hours on a Tuesday. When I arrived at the room, the family was just getting settled, and we all started crying. Fortunately, I soon realized that the tears were more of relief and assurance than of sadness. The family told me that even though they had only been at Houston Hospice for a few minutes, they were already feeling at peace. Mimi seemed to be sleeping deeply and in the greatest comfort.
While I was there, the nurses and aides were remarkably gentle, professional, and accommodating. My friend and her mother were overwhelmed with the calm that these women transferred to them. Every action or word was a gift. I’ve heard great things about our inpatient unit staff, and I have been with my own mother for weeks in ICU and other recovery areas of a hospital setting to witness outstanding, attentive care — but our Houston Hospice nurses and aides take care to a whole new level. Their skill sets include wisdom and patience that I have never observed before. I cannot believe how proactive they are with questions and suggestions to anticipate patient and family needs. A lot of wonderful people can be responsive, but when support persons are proactive in offering help, the effect is incredible.
My friend, her family, and I were amazed by Sarah, Darlene, Sophia, Ellen, and Kristin on the night shift – and all of the devoted nurses and aides at Houston Hospice. THANK YOU for truly caring and for giving every patient and family the gentle help they so desperately need. You are shining examples for all of us.
Martha Cambell, Houston Hospice Community Outreach Coordinator
Houston Hospice Nurses: Life Matters And This Is What It’s All About
As I walk the halls of Houston Hospice’s inpatient unit, whispers can be heard coming from multiple patient rooms. Peering into one room, a nurse is seen comforting an elderly man wondering what life might be like when his wife of 54 years will no longer be at his side. Across the hall, a nurse listens as a teenage boy asks her what heaven might be like when he gets there; nervous that he won’t know anyone when he gets there. Continuing down the hall, I see into the room on the left, a nurse is teaching a man’s sister how to administer his medications in preparation for him to go home; something he has been longing for since the day he found out he was ill. In the room up ahead to the right a nurse works diligently at the bedside of her newly-admitted 31 year old patient to get the pain caused by her breast cancer managed as the patient’s parents stand watching with tears streaming down their faces. I continue walking the hall, and I feel an overwhelming sense of pride for my wonderful team of nurses.
Here at Houston Hospice, the inpatient unit nurses provide a full-spectrum of physical, emotional, psychosocial, and spiritual care with the goal of preventing suffering and relieving symptoms to support the best possible quality of care for our patients and their families. As we enter National Nurses Week 2014, I would like to recognize and sincerely thank each and every Houston Hospice inpatient unit nurse as they are leaders in providing uncompromising and compassionate end-of-life care to our patients and families.
“And what nursing has to do … is to put the patient in the best condition for nature to act upon him.” – Florence Nightingale, Notes on Nursing: What it is and what it is not.
Thank you, nurses, for all you do,
Jessica Rousseaux
Inpatient Unit Patient Care Manager
The Joy of Living as Shared by a Hospice Patient
April 10, 2012—Another Hospice volunteer and I sit at the bedside of an animated, talkative 97-year-old African American woman whom I’ll call “Louise.” Her thin face is haloed with a white cotton turban, and her eyes sparkle with good humor. She tells us that she fell in her home and broke a hip, the first broken bone in her long life and her first time having to go to a hospital. She was able to reach the phone to call for help, and she waited quietly lying on the floor until her sister arrived.
While the doctors were examining her, they found that Louise had metastasized cancer. Today she reminisces about picking cotton and corn as a child on her family’s riverside farm in the small town of Edna, Texas. Louise never married, but after finishing elementary school, she worked as a housekeeper for a couple who moved north to Chicago. When the husband died, she followed the ailing wife to a retirement community in Florida and cared for her until her death. Nineteen years ago, Louise moved back to Texas to be near her extended family. She lists the names of her siblings and nieces and nephews, and gives us their birth dates. When I asked the date of her own birthday, she boasts, “I’ll turn 98 on April 21.” She says, “People tell me that I have lots of stories to tell.” Joan and I assure her that she surely does. Louise still has a group of friends whom she wants to notify about where she is. Some are in nursing homes, and they still manage to stay in touch.
April 17, 2012—Louise is delighted to see me again and asks me to switch off the TV that the nurses have left on for her entertainment. She’d much rather chat and regale me with the same stories she told me the week before. She is excited about her upcoming 98th birthday party on April 21 and tells me she always hoped she’d live to be 100. When the preacher from her neighborhood Baptist church arrives to pray with her, she treats him with deep respect. I leave them to their prayers and encounter Anne, the social worker in the hallway. She says that Louise is too healthy to stay at the inpatient unit of Hospice, and that paperwork is in motion to have her transferred to another facility.
April 24, 2012—I notice a bunch of shiny balloons still inflated on the ceiling in one corner of the room. Louise tells me about her cousins, nieces, nephews and step-sister escorting her in a wheel chair to celebrate her birthday in the courtyard with soup and ice cream and other soft foods “that I can eat with my dentures.” I hear all about the music and presents and laughter, and suddenly Louise is quiet. We both realize that the party’s over and that unless a miracle occurs it’s the last birthday she will celebrate.
I ask if she’d like me to read her some psalms. Louise responds, “Whatever you do for me, honey, I accept gratefully.” But before I reach for her Bible, she recites aloud by memory part of Psalm #23 and the entire Lord’s Prayer. She confides, “I say those words every morning as soon as I’m awake and repeat them at bedtime, when I send prayers to any loved ones who are especially needy.” Louise reminisces about singing spirituals in her Baptist-Methodist farmland church. I sing Swing Low Sweet Chariot, Joshua Fought the Battle of Jericho and Amazing Grace with her, and she chimes in, with a grin on her emaciated face. Afterwards, Louise admits, “I can’t sing worth a darn, but if someone else is singing, I can’t help but join in. I don’t understand the words to modern songs, but those spirituals bring me right back to my childhood.” Just as I’m leaving the room, a hospice volunteer named Loretta visits with her 4-pound “therapy dog,” Gigi—small and gentle enough to cuddle up next to Louise, who claims to be frightened of big dogs.
May 1, 2012—I arrive with my guitar to accompany our spirituals, eager to see Louise, and I’m stunned by her transformation. She is asleep in her bed, without all the pillows that usually prop up her back. Her body looks tiny, and now that her mouth is free of dentures, her face is shrunken. She is breathing so lightly that her chest barely moves. I decide to sing quietly at her bedside. She makes no response, and I hope that the familiar melodies are reaching her on a subconscious level. I realize that once her 98th birthday party has come and gone, and everyone she loves has shown up to honor her, Louise is ready to let go of life. She is tired and doesn’t want to be transferred to a long-term care facility. Silently bidding her farewell, I slip out of the room. I know that it’s likely that this is my last view of her. Louise has given me the gift of her joie de vivre, and I feel grateful to her.
–Houston Hospice volunteer, Ginger Clarkson
Houston Hospice: National Hospice Month
National Hospice Month is upon us. Every Monday through the month of November Houston Hospice will be highlighting employee experiences and delving into the human aspect of hospice care. The 2012 National Hospice and Palliative Care theme is Comfort·Love·Respect – something we see daily at Houston Hospice. Hospice care happens because of skilled and compassionate hospice and palliative care professionals. These include physicians, nurses, social workers, hospice aides, chaplains and volunteers. Below is a glimpse of employee insight into compassion driven end-of-life hospice care.
What have you gained from working at Houston Hospice?
“Knowing that we are truly helping patients, and their families at the most crucial part of their lives,” Robynette Hall, RN, On-call Team.
“What I have gained most at Houston Hospice is compassion and patience,” Sonja Payne, Receptionist.
“Fulfillment in being a healing presence,” Kathy Flinn, RN, PCM-IPU.
The 2012 Butterfly Luncheon
Ron Hall
Houston Hospice will host its annual Butterfly Luncheon on Tuesday, April 10th from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Hilton Houston Post Oak Hotel. Ron Hall, co-author of the book, same kind of different As me, will be the special guest speaker. The Butterfly Luncheon is the primary fundraiser that recognizes Houston Hospice’s pediatrics program called The Butterfly Program. Profits raised from The Butterfly Luncheon benefit all operations of Houston Hospice.
I am very excited about our speaker Ron Hall. His capability to tell a story and paint a mental picture keeps the audience engaged and entertained. If attending our 2012 Butterfly Luncheon, I highly advise reading his book, same kind of different As me, that Ron co-wrote with friend Denver Moore. The story about how the two met is inspiring especially since they both came from two different worlds. The novel proves that when coping with death, we can all find common ground no matter what our backgrounds are.
The event will include lunch and a raffle that will feature our hand stitched quilt sewn by Houston Hospice volunteers. There will also be a booth with sterling silver butterfly jewelry for sale by JD Designs. Copies of same kind of different As me, will be available for purchase. Ron Hall will sign books at the event.
If you are interested in attending our 2012 Butterfly Luncheon, you can visit our website at www.houstonhospice.org or contact the Development Department at 713-677-7130. This is one of our major fundraisers for the year and is always a joy to be a part of.
Celebrating Valentine’s Day as a Caretaker
Valentine’s Day is a holiday that people love to love or love to hate. Some people love the idea of having a whole day to celebrate their love for their friends, family, and that special someone. Other people believe Valentine’s Day is a made up holiday to generate card, chocolate and flower sales. Whatever your opinion is, as a caretaker acknowledging Valentine’s Day can benefit your loved one.
If you take away all of the commercialization of Valentine’s Day what is left? The answer is simple- love. Dedicating a whole day of love for the people in your life is a great way to realize how valuable they are. As a caretaker, you are already a laborer of love. Balancing work and family is stressful enough. You choose to become a primary caretaker because of your deep love for your family member or friend.
This Valentine’s Day, take some time to think about the love you have for the friend or family member you are taking care of. In the chaos of trying to create a successful balancing act, it’s easy to forget why you are a caretaker. Think about great memories shared between the two of you and talk about them with your sick loved one. You don’t have to buy flowers, chocolates, or cards to celebrate your love for each other.
Also, don’t forget to celebrate the love you have for yourself. Take a moment to think about your characteristics that make you unique and special. When you love yourself you can love others even more. Don’t let yourself forget your worth or that you are a strong, caring person. Give yourself a giant hug and compliment.
Even though Valentine’s Day can seem a little over the top and excessive, don’t forget the message of love. Let others in your life know that you love them even if it’s a simple phone call or letter. And celebrate the love you have for yourself.
Hospice During the Holidays
When a family member is admitted into hospice care, a variety of emotions come into play. Fear, sadness, anger and relief are felt at any given moment and can often lead to confusion and dismay. During the holidays, these emotions can peak and we can sometimes lose sight of the positives hospice care offers.
First of all, hospice care provides an environment where it is safe to say goodbye. When a patient agrees to hospice care, he or she is giving you permission to say farewell. Family members and friends can focus on their loved one and each other. Also, having family and friends around can offer great validation for those who are having difficulty with the farewell process.
In addition, hospice can bring together the patient’s family members and friends. During a difficult time, most families become stronger than ever. They support one another and tend to let go of petty arguments that occurred in the past. Also, family members spend more time together while a family member is in hospice care. They form a bond knowing that they are all going through this process together.
Also, hospice provides a place to relive precious holiday memories as a family. The patient gets to enjoy stories from a variety of friends and family members about holiday traditions and funny memories. This is a great way for the patient and the patient’s family to focus on positive thoughts. Sharing funny holiday stories can help lighten the mood and provide relief to the family members and friends who are nervous or uncomfortable.
And finally, hospice allows you to see the kindness strangers can offer. Volunteers and nurses do not stop working during the holiday season and often sacrifice holidays to take care of patients. A hospice staff understands how difficult losing a close friend or family member can be during the holidays. They provide extra support, extra attention and extra kindness to family members during the holiday season. Witnessing these extra efforts can make you appreciate how caring strangers can be at a time in need.
Saying goodbye to a loved one is never an easy task and during the holidays it can be more difficult. Remember to try to focus on the positives and don’t be afraid to form a support group of family members and friends. Understand that the hospice staff is there to comfort you and to help you during the holidays. Treasure the precious moments you have with your loved ones, share cherished memories and appreciate the impact the patient’s life has had on you.
World Alzheimer’s Month
This month is World Alzheimer’s Month and the 21 specifically is World Alzheimer’s Day. Over 5 million people in the United Statesare currently living with Alzheimer’s disease and Dementia. As awareness is recognized this month for patients with the disease, those giving hospice care to patients should be saluted as well.
For each person that is living with Alzheimer’s or Dementia, there is likely to be multiple others working with that person in an effort to provide the total care that is necessary to fight the disease. Alzheimer’s patients often need great care from a hospice or caregiver, especially in the latter stages of the disease as Dementia start to have a greater affect.
Even though the month is winding down in the next week or so, there are still plenty of ways you can recognize and increase awareness of the disease. You can have a great impact by wearing purple a few times this month to spread the message of Alzheimer’s awareness. Also, supporters can have an impact on Facebook by changing their profile pictures to the End Alz icon created by the Alzheimer’s Association.
This year, supporters are trying to spread awareness of the different effects of dementia. The fact that Alzheimer’s can affect anyone of any race, both men and women of any status or background makes it a disease that people should be highly aware of. Alzheimer’s is a disease that can transform an elderly person who seems independent into a patient who is completely dependent on care giving for their daily activities.
Locally, this is where the impact of a hospice can come in. In Houston, there are not only Alzheimer’s patients in need of a care giver, but also patients suffering from multiple other diseases. For many of the elderly living independently, their lives could change overnight. With the help of respite care, the elderly will be given the proper amount of diligence and care in a Houston apartment or home. They are cared for by a team of doctors, nurses, aides, social workers, therapists, a chaplain and volunteers.
As the month of September draws to a close, we should aim to increase the awareness of this impactful disease by spreading knowledge throughout World Alzheimer’s Month. The effort in these months of awareness has a great impact by informing thousands throughout the world about the importance of hospice and respite care.
This article was written by guest blogger Paige Taylor, a recent graduate from the University of Texas El Paso.