Holidays

How to Help Your Loved One Stay in Touch with You

During the holidays, relatives will especially rely heavily on two-way communication to stay connected.

Published in caringfromafar.com 

Technology makes communicating with your loved one as easy as the push of a button, which is a true blessing for long-distance caregivers. However, your loved one might not be as tech-savvy as you are, or they may have trouble communicating due to vision or hearing deficiencies. The following are simple ways to make staying in touch a breeze:

Start with the Basics

You might have gotten rid of your landline phone years ago, but for older adults, this is the phone they grew up using and are most comfortable with. Technology is confusing, and trying to teach your loved one how to use it could be more stressful than it is helpful. In fact, a landline phone may even be the safest option, as it reduces time spent routing the call to the correct emergency response center. In addition, calls from landlines automatically show emergency responders the address, name of the residence, and a map, which could be a lifesaver should your loved one call for help and be unable to talk or get confused about where they are.

Depending on your loved one’s needs, you can switch out the landline for something more feasible such as a phone with larger buttons or a high ringer volume. Keep in mind that getting your loved one a cell phone, and teaching them how is use it, is still a good idea, as they can take it with them when they are out of the house. To really ramp up the communication measures, install a medical alert system that makes communication with emergency services quick and simple.

Set a Schedule

Once you choose the preferred communication, set up a time each day to check in and stick to it. This not only gives you peace of mind that your loved one is okay, but even simply hearing a familiar voice could be the daily pick-me-up they need. If your loved one is tech-savvy, use video chat such as Skype or FaceTime, or have a local family member or in-home caregiver assist them.

In addition to communication with your loved one, it is imperative that you chat regularly with their primary caregiver to get details and information your loved one might not feel comfortable sharing with you. If you chose to hire an in-home caregiver, check in with them daily, and don’t be afraid to request a log of what they did each day. Don’t forget to ask your loved one how they feel – sometimes caregivers aren’t the right match.

Staying in touch with your loved one will take a continued effort on your end, but it is just one of the many responsibilities that come along with being a long-distance caregiver. With the right technology and a consistent schedule, you can make the miles between you seem far less.

 

 

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Grief During the Holidays: Some Tips

The winter holidays are generally perceived as “the most wonderful time of the year.” But for those who are facing grief after the death of a loved one, the holidays may instead be a time filled with pain and sadness.

Even those for whom grief is not as fresh, the holidays may serve as an annual reminder of the loss—not only of that person, but of tradition and celebration.Multi Generation Family Meal

Bereavement professionals working in hospice and palliative care understand how difficult this season can be. They support families coping with loss all year long. Bereavement counselors stress the importance of making decisions that feel right to the grieving person, and giving oneself permission to make new or different choices at the holidays.

Experts in Grief offer some tips:

Be Willing to Change Traditions

Holidays often center on certain traditions and rituals. For some, continuing these traditions without a loved one may be an important way to continue sharing their memory. For others, it may be more comforting to develop new rituals to help lessen the pain and immediacy of the loss.

Help Reduce Stress

While the holidays can be filled with meaning, they can also be filled with pressure and stress because of additional tasks such as shopping, baking and decorating. Grieving people should be encouraged to prioritize what needs to be done, and focus on those projects that may bring them pleasure. Perhaps the gift list can be pared down, cards need not be sent out, or another family member can cook the family dinner this year.

Remember those Who Have Died

The holidays can bring opportunities to remember the person who has died in a way that is personally meaningful. Some families choose to participate in holiday events at a local hospice. Others may choose to share special family stories over a meal. Some may find that making a donation to a special charity or volunteering time to help others in need may be a comforting way to honor their loved one.

The professionals at Houston Hospice know of the importance of providing emotional and spiritual support to those who are grieving but most importantly, they remind us that a person grieving should do what’s most comfortable for him or her during this time of year.

Houston Hospice offers a variety of grief support groups as one way to manage grief. All support groups are open to the public at no charge. If you or a loved one need help, please call 713-677-7131 to learn more.

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Holiday Grief: 10 Tips to Navigate the Emotional Minefield

16014834Grief is never more acutely felt than during the holidays, when there is an empty place at the table. As part of its nonprofit outreach, Houston Hospice offers complementary bereavement support to the community. During their pre-holiday workshops, Houston Hospice grief counselors, Marti Nelson and Tammy Zwahr, help the bereaved navigate the minefield of feelings and expectations they’ll encounter with these helpful tips:

HOW WILL I GET THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS?

10 tips for those who are grieving:

  1. Accept the likelihood of your pain. The energy you would spend evading what is going on around you will be more creatively spend adapting to the reality of what this particular season holds for you.
  2. Feel whatever it is you feel. Recognize the fact that something very important has happened in your life which causes reactions within you. Some of the feelings bereaved people feel include: sadness, depression, anxiety, fear, anger, guilt, and apathy.
  3. Express your emotions. The best means of expression is simple: be yourself. Choose people who will listen and respond thoughtfully. Journaling helps get feelings off your chest, clarifies thinking, and monitors your progress. Use music, pray, dance, or create.
  4. Plan ahead. Give yourself permission to change plans as you go. Talk things over with people whom you usually share the holidays.
  5. Take charge where you can. Evaluate holiday traditions. Some changes may be healthy and important to make. Eat healthfully and drink wisely. Maintain an exercise program or begin one. Get the rest you need.
  6. Turn to others for support. Let others know what you think will help you.
  7. Be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself time to rest. Avoid over committing yourself. Pace yourself on good days and give yourself lots of latitude on “bad” days and accept that grieving people have their share of these days.
  8. Remember to remember. You may have a special linking object which you might carry, wear, use, or place in easy sight. Create small remembrance area at home. Look at photos and talk to others about your life together. Remember the deceased in prayer, with a toast, or by lighting a candle at mealtime. Plant a tree or donate to a favorite charity.
  9. Search out and count your blessings. Stay in the present as much as possible. Savor what there is to savor. Cry and then let the tears pass and see what else you feel. Don’t be afraid to laugh.
  10. Do something for others. You can reach out and offer something of what you have and who you are, even if it feels like it’s only a little. Baby sit, cook a meal, or check on shut-ins. You can drive, shovel, telephone, mow, clean, trim, deliver, type, greet, etc. depending on your interests and abilities.

*EMOTIONAL WISH LIST

What would the holidays be like if I could have these wishes granted?

*Adapted from: “Tis The Season to be Jolly?”.  Dr. William Alexy.  Bereavement Magazine, November/December 1989. Reprinted with permission of Bereavement Publishing, Inc. (713-282-1948).

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